I don't know if anyone really cares about hearing about my dates, lol. But it helps me if I can do a postmortem on what happened. I have to say...I think there's something fundamentally wrong with me. I don't know. The guy was really nice and I liked him...but every time he told me I was beautiful (three times) or that he liked what I was wearing, I got very uncomfortable. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't beautiful... which is how I honestly felt. And I could barely make eye contact when he told me how pretty my eyes were. I need to work on this and I'm planning on discussing it with my LCSW when I see her next Wednesday. Self-esteem is something I have struggled with my whole life...but I'm only just realizing it now. And I really want to overcome it.
So the date. I was at a conference on CHF all day today from 7am-4:30pm. So it had already been quite a day but I was looking forward to going out with this guy. So I got there a little early, earlier than I expected, and had some time to relax. I of course got bogged down with my boss calling me...it just never ends, I'm telling you!
But then we went to this little Italian place that was really excellent. Not really authentic but I had this arugula salad that was TO DIE FOR. It was baby arugula and bitter greens in a very light citrus dressing with sliced pear, a little bit of goat cheese, some pecans and tomato and then I added 4 grilled shrimp on top. It was amazing! So tasty! And I did get some dessert but I savored every bite and did not feel guilty! Brian, the guy, was very nice. He's very TALL. I guess I didn't realize, haha. He's also working on getting healthy and losing weight so I think that's good; I've been very open with him about having lost 50 pounds and that I'm working toward a goal and he seemed very supportive. He was very pleasant and we laughed a little. I just don't know if we 'clicked'. If that makes sense... he was perfectly nice and was a true gentleman (He's an Army veteran, so very traditional values). At the end of the evening he gave me a hug, I didn't feel pressured for sex or anything...which I honestly did feel when we started texting each other. I had to put him in his place because it got a little too much for me (but he was very respectful and took it very well). So I don't know...I think I'd have to get to know him better before I say it wouldn't work. This guy at least had clean teeth and listened to what I had to say! We are making improvements! Little by little!
He's texting me right now, actually, saying what a great time he had. So... what do you think? Second date? I'm thinking so!
Hope you all are having a good evening!
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Yes! 2nd date sounds in order, sometimes you have to have a little faith and take the time to get to know someone before making a choice. Sounds like it was a pretty good time, way to go!
ReplyDeleteMost definitely a 2nd date :)
ReplyDelete2nd date sounds great... And practice this... "THANK YOU." That's all you have to say after a compliment. No need to self-deprecate. It also makes you look more confident than you may be feeling. By dismissing a compliment it can come across as "what you do you know about {insert topic of compliment}?!" Or that you dismiss their expression of admiration or opinion of beauty in this situation.
ReplyDeleteSo remember, "Thank you." No skin off your back. :) And soon enough, I think you'll start seeing what he finds so attractive about you.
I would do a second date if you felt a connection and thought he was genuine why not but I also wouldn't hold back from going out with someone else! I like hearing about your dates ps
ReplyDeleteOhhh yeah!
ReplyDeleteI vote for a 2nd date for sure!!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely second date! :)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a second date! Don't worry too much about being uncomfortable with compliments. We would all like to take all our compliments graciously, but even now when my husband gives me a compliment I find myself not believing what he has said. I think it is natural for compliments to make us feel a little uncomfortable, that just means we are modest. I think as you become more comfortable around this guy, you will become more comfortable with his compliments. Just don't treat the compliments negatively, or they may stop, and we don't want that! :)
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