One of Those Days...

Today was a long one at work, I have to say. I am really looking forward to the weekend...but praying for quiet. I'm on call, bleh. I woke up feeling very tired today, like I couldn't get myself moving. Which is funny because today was a BEAUTIFUL day. It wasn't too hot, it wasn't humid, the sun was shining but there were beautiful wispy white clouds in the sky. I went to bed a little later than normal last night but I also got to sleep in an extra hour, that could've had something to do with it...but I have a lot going on in my life right now. Work, family, etc.

This isn't weight loss related at all, so sorry to unload it! Blogging is cheaper than professional therapy! Hehe. This has been bothering me for a while and I haven't told anyone about it. SO...yay for you getting stuck reading more of my bitching!

Back in June of this year I had a patient who I adored that died very unexpectedly after finding out he had cancer. I opened him to homecare really to check his blood pressure, change some dressings, and prepare him for a scheduled surgery. The doctor didn't think it was anything serious and he was doing great. Well, when they went in to do the surgery they found out he had cancer everywhere and two weeks later, he passed away. I was devestated. This was the nicest family, they were always very grateful that I was there and were so kind and wonderful. Losing him was a blow I wasn't expecting, especially not so soon. After his surgery they were talking about chemotherapy and radiation, I had every hope that there would be treatment and remission! But...he passed.

Because it was so sudden, nothing was in place. No funeral arrangements, no advanced directives, so it took the family about a month to put things in place. The funeral happened to take place in July, the same day as my mother's birthday. I was also working that weekend and it was VERY busy. I felt overwhelmed. One of my "friends" was having a Lia Sophia party and I told her privately that I would not be able to attend because of the funeral I was going to.

Skip ahead to one of the craziest weekends I've had, I had several visits in the morning. My mother is kind of a facebook junkie and so I wanted to say happy birthday to my mom on there (she was really excited to see it on there haha). What I didn't want to do was put a damper on her birthday because I had a funeral to go to. AND I also didn't want to start the inevitable facebook chain of: WHO DIED!!??!!? I also wanted to protect the privacy of my patient and his family, privacy laws extend after a person has died! SO on my status I posted a happy birthday to my mom and left out the other things. Well a little later when I got home, I checked on my page and had a nasty message from this girl (she's 29 years old...but obviously she acts like she's 12) stating: "You didn't have to lie about a funeral to get out of coming to my party". And then proceeded to trash me to all of my college friends before unfriending me, not even giving me the courtesy of a call or a text.

It's been bugging me for a long time. I am too proud to call her or text her and explain  that I was at a funeral and I'm too nice a person to trash her back. It's just been really nagging at me. Apparantly because I didn't post it on facebook...it didn't happen? One of my friends from college who came to the party last night had said that many people didn't show up to my party because of what this girl had been saying about me. So...it's been on my mind. Just makes me wonder what kind of person people think I am if they'd believe I'd lie about a funeral to get out of going to a Lia Sophia party...

I'm a very straightforward person. I'd just tell her to her face that I didn't want to go to a ridiculous party where I'm pressured into buying overpriced, cheaply made things that I'll never wear. But of course, I made the mistake of telling her the truth.

I feel better putting it out there, at least explaining my feelings. I've been feeling down for most of the day. On a brighter note, I was really good on plan...I wasn't even that hungry but I made myself sit down at eat breakfast, lunch dinner and my JC dessert, and I even had a cup of fruit salad that I had made myself yesterday which was delicious. On another bright note, tomorrow looks like another beautiful day and now that I've unloaded, I feel like it'll be a good one.

TGIF!